pudgy fingers grippin' like a chocotaco |
Let me preface this with a brief story.
It happened about a year ago, when me and the tribe took up residence in a large house just outside of Baltimore. The house was nestled in a safe little cul-de-sac. All the neighbors were friendly, rowdy on weekends, but passed out silent by 9 pm. It was quiet during the weekdays. Tranquil even. The only sounds from outside were birds and the occasional dog.
So one quiet afternoon in late spring, I heard a commotion outside. A spry Labrador puppy had jumped over a backyard fence and was bounding happily towards the mail-carrier. She was a large hysterical woman and she was screaming at the dog.
"GET BACK SATAN!!! GET BACK!!!"
The dog had stopped. Happy and sitting on his haunches, tongue out, happy.
"THE BLOOD OF JESUS IS AGAINST YOU!!! THE BLOOD OF JESUS WILL PROTECT ME SATAN!!!"
That's when I noticed she had a can of pepper spray in her right hand.
I ran out to the porch. I figured maybe I could get the sweet and clearly satanic puppy over to my yard until his family returned home. Thankfully one of the neighbors across the way called the dog to her and he ran into her house.The mail-carrier began to explain to the neighbor that she was terrified of dogs and when she felt like she was in danger, she would scream the "blood of Jesus" mantra.
The neighbor lit a Virginia Slim and nodded. Later, the neighbor confided in me that the mail carrier was usually a little "off" but that was the first time she had ever heard the mail-carrier fully invoke the blood of Jesus.
Anyway, I was thinking about that day when I saw the same mail-carrier drop off a book-shaped package on my porch today. I knew what lay within - DEVILMOUNT - Jack Shear's appropriation of the legendary lost Kickstarter mega-dungeon. I wished that the mail carrier could have seen the cover of the wonderfully grim book she had delivered. I'm sure she would have flung it from her mail sack and sprayed it with mace. Anyway, the book is all dark and glossy and likes to show off my fingerprints. Inside it is filled with inspired devilry and ghoulish delights.
As a loner kid I would occasionally buy a module and run a couple characters of my own creation through it, like a Choose Your Own Fighting Wolf Way book. I think I will drink some Sucaba and some daytime cold elixir and run it for my imaginary shadow people friends late one night. Or perhaps I'll gather together some unsuspecting players together and run it in the guise of something kinder and gentler.
Well done Mr. Shear. Well done.
I had not seen the cover when I got mine in the mail. I was in the kitchen opening the package and I slid it out, admiring the cover when i looked up and my 12 year old daughter was staring at me.
ReplyDelete"What is that???" She asked, eyes wide.
I flipped it over and looked at the back cover. Be warned all, care should be taken when handling this book! ;)